


the wheel, that cursed fucking cycle

by MigrantMayhem



Series: death can't touch us, honey [2]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Emphasis on the hurt not a lot of comfort, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Morning Sickness, Multi, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vomiting, alright guys hear me out, misty's pregnant, poor bby, the implication of misty v johnny and vik (if not more) coparenting jackie's kid was too sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:15:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MigrantMayhem/pseuds/MigrantMayhem
Summary: V had too much on her plate to really deal with Jackie's death. She packed those thoughts and put them away, fighting against the clock for her own life. If she stopped moving, she knew all those thoughts would catch right up with her.Then Misty confesses something that makes V come to a crashing halt.--did anyone need this? no?? oh well have it anyway, I got too many thoughts.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/V, Misty Olszewski/Jackie Welles
Series: death can't touch us, honey [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196861
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	the wheel, that cursed fucking cycle

V made her way to Misty’s shop, nerves in a bundle, vision hazy. Too many things-- too many things were going wrong, recently. She didn’t want to say she put stock in the occult-- not as much as some of these other gonks in Misty’s business, but she knew a little bit about the trade. She had helped Jackie pick out Misty’s deck-- proof enough that she put more faith in the occult than she would admit.

Right now, especially. V’s fingers twitched at the thought of the gig she just picked up, and something in her gut told her it was going to go sideways fast. Couldn’t trust the Voodoo Boys as far as she could throw them. She needed something, a sign. Reassurance.

She walked into Misty’s shop, basking in the warm scent of incense and candle smoke, nerves stilling just slightly. It was easy to check her worries at the door, here. Misty knew how to do her job.

V stepped into the shop a little ways, surprised to see Misty absent from her post. Maybe she was downstairs with Vik?

Then she heard retching, and a strangled cough from around the corner.

“Misty?” She called out, only to be answered with a faint groan. She followed the sick sounds until she found Misty curled up over a trashcan, pale and shaking.

“Shit, Misty,” V cursed, stepping over, fingers curling in blonde hair to pull it out of her face. She smiled weakly, before another heave wracked her body.

V was vaguely aware of Johnny appearing right within her periphery, content to stand back and watch. V glared daggers at him, before focusing back on Misty.

Misty seemed to be finished, and reached for the paper towels that were sitting nearby. She came prepared, it seemed. V grabbed one and ripped it off, handing it to her.

“Shit, you good, Misty? Vik check you out? You look worse than me,” V offered a soft chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. Misty offered a smile, sighing, nodding. V moved to sit on the floor besides her. Misty spat in the can, wiping her mouth off with the towel, tossing it atop the sick mess she just coughed up. She pushed the trashcan away from her in disgust.

“Yeah, I’m okay, V. Thank you.”

V couldn’t help but narrow her eyes at the other woman, “Misty… are you sure? I’m just sayin’, but nobody whose ‘okay’ is puking their guts up at work.” She gestured to the paper towels, “Has this been going on for a while?”

Misty’s gaze fell to the floor, feet shifting nervously.

“Damn, V, poor thing’s already sick, you gotta grill her, too? Can’t leave well enough alone?” Johnny spoke from over her shoulder. She shot him a look.

“Nothing gets past you, huh?” Misty chuckled dryly, “I’ve… I’ve been meaning to tell you this, V, but… I’ve never been really sure how. You’ve, you’ve got enough on your plate right now as it is…”

V tilted her head, gut seizing up. Was Misty okay? Was she dying? Was she--

_ Wait a minute _ \--

“I’m… um, I’m pregnant.”

V stared, wide-eyed, blinking as the information caught up to her brain. Misty was pregnant.  _ Misty was pregnant _ .

“...Jackie’s?” She spoke over a lump forming in her throat.

Misty simply nodded; she knew V had no doubts about her fidelity, but more of her dreading the confirmation. Misty was pregnant, with a child Jackie was never going to get to meet. A child who would never know Jackie. V stood up quickly, cursing under her breath.

“V--” Misty called out, panicking at the sudden movement, “--Wait, please.”

V froze in her tracks. She wasn’t going to leave Misty, especially not now, and not in her state, but she didn’t know how to explain that she couldn’t sit  _ still _ . V met Johnny’s eyes, who were much calmer than her own, more somber. Serious, for the first time about something other than her health or Arasaka.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Was all V could croak out, before a tidal wave of guilt washed over her.

\---

V sat in her car, leaning back in her seat, staring at the ceiling. She was parked in the garage, putting off her drive to Pacifica, mind racing over the thoughts of Misty. Misty was pregnant-- she was going to have a kid that had Jackie’s eyes and his stupid fucking grin, and he wasn’t even going to be around to meet ‘em. Misty was, of course, keeping the kid, because “that means that a little piece of Jackie gets to live on.” Tears welled up in her eyes, and her fists came down the sides of the steering wheel, crying out in anger. It  _ had  _ to be her. It  _ had  _ to be her who lived, he who died.  _ Fuck _ , what she wouldn’t give to go back in time, take his place. He had Misty, a whole ass  _ kid  _ who was cooking, and what did she have? Jack fucking shit. All she had was a timebomb in her head, and she realized with a sob that even her desire to be in this kid’s life, for  _ Jackie _ , was not likely to happen, either.

She closed her eyes, feeling tears roll down her cheeks, as she flipped through her contacts in her brain.

_ Calling Jackie Welles _ ... printed in the corner of her vision.

It rang, and it rang, and it rang, and she couldn’t help the knot in her gut that twisted up at the hope that he’d pick up, that he’d answer her with that audible smile and a “ _ What’s up, chica? _ ”

But he didn’t. He never would. She was sent to voicemail, and she sobbed.

“Hey, Jackie. It’s me,” She muttered into the emptiness, “I… uh… I got news. Dunno if it’s good or bad, yet. You’ll like it, I think. Bittersweet.”

She drew a shaky breath, “Misty’s pregnant. She’s gonna keep’em, too. She knows you really wanted to have your own kids, and she’s thinkin’ of you every minute of her pregnancy.”

She paused, eyes staring blankly at the steering wheel.

“I’ll be lookin’ out for them, I promise. I just… I dunno, Jack. I’m on borrowed time as it is--” Her voice broke, “-- _ Fuck _ , Jackie. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I’m  _ so  _ fuckin’ sorry.”

She curled up as well as she could, another sob wracking her body, “I know I should be happy, but,  _ fuck _ , I’m just so,  _ so  _ sad.”

Johnny materialized in the passenger's seat next to her, eyes out the windshield, but she still hung up anyway, as if he didn’t already know she had been crying to her dead friend over the phone.

They sat in silence for a minute, V wiping her eyes quickly as she could, trying to gain some semblance of composure.

“The fuck do you want?” She finally breathed, “Got somethin’ smart to say? Gonna call me some pathetic fuckin’ puppy?”

Johnny sighed, shaking his head slowly, “‘M not. You’re already beatin’ yourself up enough over this. I’d be kickin’ a cripple.”

“Fuck you,” She spat, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Fine, you know what? I was tryin’ to be  _ nice _ , V. You’re certainly goin’ through it over this baby thing, and I get it-- your best choom’s bun is in the oven and he’s not here to see it. But enough of this wallowing, V. You can grieve, but you didn’t trade lives or anything.”

Her frown turned into a snarl, but a look from Johnny told her he wasn’t done. She held her tongue, if only for a moment. If only because she didn’t have the energy to fight with him.

“I know what you’re going through, V. Shit hurts. I lost chooms, and I asked myself all the time why the fuck  _ I  _ was the one who survived. All the fuckin’ time. And the answer is simple. I just  _ did _ . There’s no tradin’ lives, no goin’ back in time, nothin’. Just gotta keep puttin’ one foot in front of the other until you fall off the edge of the earth, or die tryin’.”

His hand pressed into her shoulder, ghost of metal comforting in her emotional state, “You can grieve, but don’t waste your life wishing you could trade it. Live it, for  _ him _ . Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

V swallowed, tears starting to well in her eyes again. She tried to pretend she didn’t make a warbling squeak as she inhaled, but she could see the sympathetic look beneath Johnny’s shades and she cursed, shoulders shaking as she cried.

“I don’t think I get that choice, Johnny,” She spoke between sobs, “I’m  _ dyin’ _ , you’re killin’ me!” She croaked, and it wasn’t with malice. Just a statement of fact.

“That’s why we get to Mikoshi as fast as we fuckin’ can.”

“And if that doesn’t work?”

The silence that stretched between her and her ghost felt suffocating, like they were finally acknowledging that, at the end of the day, one of them was going to have to disappear.

“I’ll keep an eye on them, then.”

She looked up at him, vision bleary through tears. His face was deadly serious.

“I’ll watch’em,  _ for you _ .”

V wanted so badly to throw her arms around Johnny’s shoulders, admission making her heart just a little bit lighter. But she couldn’t-- couldn’t touch him. He was her ghost, and she was his husk, and at the end of the day one of them was going to have to disappear. But the wheel fuckin’ turned, didn’t it? Jackie lived on through a kid he’d never meet, and V would live on in Johnny’s memory, and maybe… maybe that was enough.

It wouldn’t be, but when you’re short on time, you made compromises.


End file.
